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Roliga historier

Här kan du roa dig med att läsa roliga historier. Vi har allt från nyare varianter till klassiska bellman-historier i denna eminenta samling. Det finns totalt 488 roliga historier fördelade på 13 kategorier.

Barn | Bilister | Blandat | Bellman | Kortisar | Arbetslivet | Båthistorier | Norgehistorier | Engelska historier | Advokathistorier | Blondiner | Brunetter | Fräckisar

« Föregående | Sida 2 av 2 | Nästa »   Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies-two in the front seat and three in the back-wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...Twenty- two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks with concern. "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."   * * * *   Violent Thunderstorm An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon swaying and bumping around the sky. One very nervous lady happened to be sitting next to a clergyman and turned to him. "Can't you do something?" she demanded angrily. "I'm sorry ma'am," the reverend said gently, "I'm in sales, not management."   * * * *   Actual ad in New York Post FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows fucking everything.   * * * *   The Cow and the Car A man's car stalled on a country road. When he got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. "Your trouble is probably in the carburetor," said the cow. Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met the farmer. He told the farmer his story. "Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?" asked the farmer. "Yes!" "Oh, I wouldn't listen to Bessie," said the Farmer. "She doesn't know anything about cars."   * * * *   A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his tally-whacker in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to...to...cut it off, are you?!" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."   * * * *   The Bull A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The city-slicker attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. He did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You are really a country hick, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."   * * * *   A hundred years ago, when you saw 100 white men chasing 1 black men, it was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today they call it the PGA TOUR......   * * * *   A guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says "I bet $50 that no-one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play. "The people in the bar look around and someone fetches an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus's owner pockets the fifty bucks. Next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks its lips and starts playing a jazz solo.The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus's owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts it on the bar and says to the guy and his octopus, "Now,if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has another look from another angle. Puzzled, the octopus'owner comes up and says "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says "Play it? If I can work out how to get its pyjamas off I'm gonna fuck it!"   * * * *   « Föregående | Sida 2 av 2 | Nästa »